Cleaning Boar Bits WARNING, photos

Guinea pig boars (males) excrete more... stuff than female guinea pigs. They use their scent glands more, and they can develop nasty layers of smegma on their penises, and can accumulate bits of hair, fur, and other detritus in their anal sacs. Yeah, I'm going there right now so you know what you're in for if you keep reading!

Coconut oil, cotton pads, glove if you'd like, facial tissues (softer than pads) and a treat.

My boar, Pratchett, is neutered, which means I don't have to worry so much about his anal sac. I know, I know... what is an anal sac? It's just what's on the immediate other side of his bum hole. Boars' testicles can stretch it to a larger size merely due to gravity, and yes, from all reports this means that by the time your boar is an elderly guinea pig (5-7 years), he will have a large pocket with a large opening.

The main thing that can accumulate in a boar's anal sac is poop. He may not have enough energy, as an old man, to push all of his poop out, in which case you HAVE to clean it out for him, or he can die of impaction. Younger boars will get fur, hay, and little bits of whatever stuck inside their anal sacs because of dragging their bottoms on the floors of their habitats in order to spread that boar scent.

Q-tips and coconut oil are my preferred tools when it comes to cleaning out a boar butt. Lucky me, Pratchett doesn't have testicles that drag his butt open, so I don't have to worry about cleaning it out myself. I DO have to clean his penis, however.

When I learned that chinchilla males cleaned their penises with their mouths, and then when I saw Rory doing it, I was a bit horrified. I must say, though, I can tolerate accidentally seeing my chinchilla performing fellatio on himself as opposed to having to clean it myself like I have to do with Pratchett.

WARNING.....WARNING....WARNING....ANIMAL GENITAL PICTURES AHEAD. TURN BACK IF YE CAN'T HANDLE THE GUINEA PIG PEEN.

First, Pratchett is caught from the mansion (he always runs from me, ALWAYS) and is placed upside down in my lap, either as above or reverse and more upright against my stomach. Poor boy knows what he's in for, and even though he must be more comfortable afterward, I do feel awful having to do this to him!

For my sows' health as well, this nasty rubbish needs to be removed. 

Pratchett gets smegma build up. Smegma is the whitish stuff that gathers in damp folds of genitals. Yes, that stuff. In Pratchett's case he gets coated with smegma, and it doesn't come off easily. As you can see from the above image, it covers nearly everything except the very tip and is pretty impossible for the pig to remove himself. If not taken care of by a human, the penis can be constricted and all sorts of nasty medical issues can occur.

Yes, that's a nipple. Guinea pigs have two nipples near their back legs, like, upside-down boobs.

Coconut oil is a wonderful thing to have when you have guinea pigs. In this case, Pratchett's penis gets coated in it, and then... we wait. Yup. Not too long. You can use the same treatment for small sperm rods (no, I'm not going there right now, this is already too much).

ThE cotton pads are what I generally use to wipe the now-pliable smegma off. It's difficult to see the evidence, as the smegma is quite light in color, but it's not a small amount by any means. We had to do the routine twice to get everything off.

NORMAL again.

Poor baby has some oily fur because of this cleaning, but as can easily be seen, he's clean! Still feeling like a horrible monster, I try and placate him with mint leaves. It does not work, so I place Pratchett back in the habitat with the girls, and THEN he eats the mint.

If you don't think you can handle this sort of thing, please don't get a guinea pig. If there's another member of the household who CAN handle it, great, no worries! It's not something you should go to the vet for (and the cost would be extraordinary) unless an infection or impaction has occurred. Cleaning your boars' bits will prevent this.

As I finish up this entry I hear one of my sows giving that little flirtatious squeal that means someone is rumble-strutting and talking up the ladies. He's already ready for his ladies.