About Us

Baby River Song in her first cage, which was set up in the office.

I had been working on a unit with my sophomores that dealt with the ethics of using animals for experiments. I guess that put me in the right frame of mind, because when I first saw a skinny pig in a pet store I spent 24 hours researching before returning to purchase her (at which point I saw my second skinny pig). She looked like a miniaturized baby hippo (if you didn't pay attention to the claws), and I found her adorable.

Paper bedding necessary for her delicate skin.

River was entirely black except for some orange fur on her right upper back. She was small enough to fit into a rat cage I already owned, which only served as her home for two days when the Midwest cage arrived through Amazon Prime. This was set up on a table in my office, a table I ended up raising higher than my dogs could see.

We switched from paper bedding to fleece, and I was thrilled to fulfill maternal instincts by purchasing adorable fleece patterns. I was also introduced to the world of guinea pig products, including fleece furniture and liners especially made to absorb pee. Eventually, I started making my own, but I'm still not very good with the sewing machine.

Three weeks after taking River home, I returned to the pet store, where I found that second skinny pig was still there, and even discounted! I brought Melody Pond home. At this point River had been moved into her pink palace in the cleaned out craft room, so Melody got the Midwest cage. Bonding was stressful, and at one point I thought it would never work out.

Baby Melody was a mass of adorable freckles.

View from the Midwest cage during Melody's tenure.

River DID NOT like Melody. River, a vicarious and adventurous piggy, kept bullying her. I gave up twice and separated them after blood was drawn. I despaired of them bonding and ordered another large guinea pig habitat. If they DID bond, I could put the two habitats together, and if they didn't, they'd each have a comfortable home.

Thankfully, the fourth time was the charm, and the girls were able to live together in an "L" shaped house fit for a Barbie doll. They were almost happy, but something seemed to be missing. River was a bully, and Melody was treated like the comic sidekick character.

Meanwhile, a retiring science teacher at my campus put out a call for anyone to adopt the chinchillas she had kept in her classroom. She had five animals; two parents and three male children. Chinchillas are NOT easy pets, and I've always hated seeing them in pet stores. After very little thinking I committed to taking on at least two of the chinchillas.

Chinchillas, like guinea pigs, are social creatures, and need companions to live comfortable lives. In the case of these five chinchillas, the three boys were obviously bonded, and I had no desire to take in a female I would have to have fixed (I don't believe in breeding). I did it. I I bought a fancy cage and brought home three male chinchillas.

One of the first days in their new home.

My boys are each a year apart. The oldest, Rob has a bitten ear and a face that always looks pissed off. The middle child, Rory, took after his sable father with his beautiful black face. The youngest, Roland, turned a year old in June, and it seems like he gets on better with Rob than Rory. Rob is most definitely an alpha male, and keeps the other two in line.

I set about giving the boys everything a chinchilla needed that they had never had. All three grew up in a classroom, and while not big fans of hanging out with humans (most chinchillas aren't), they were quite tame. I got them their first wheel, and then finally had the brilliant idea to set up a playpen for floor time, which became all the time.

Meanwhile, Melody and River were getting along, but weren't exactly bffs. I had read some apocryphal advice about keeping a male guinea pig with your sows as their presence and presumably testosterone, was good for preventing ovarian cancer in guinea pigs (yes, it's a thing). Of course, that was enough of an excuse for me to acquire another animal, and made an appoint with the Los Angeles Guinea Pig Rescue in Chatsworth. To make sure guinea pigs will get on, one brings their current pets with them to the rescue for brief "dates" with potential new buddies. Yes, guinea pigs ARE that emotionally complex.

River and Melody in the dating pen waiting for prospective mates.

For a great, if slightly falsified video of the experience, check out the Vice show Das Cute, here:Go90/Vice TV: Das Cute. When we reached Chatsworth, we found a television crew, and the entire process of guinea pig dating was recorded, and poor River was manhandled by a handsome vet. We found the perfect boar for us, a "regular" short-haired neutered pig being called Proust. We don't dig the French, so I ended up naming him after my favorite author, Sir Terry Pratchett.

He was, in fact, the FIRST pig the girls met. It was an instant match for us!

Now we're a family of six. Pratchett was a great addition to the guinea pig "herd" and River stopped being such a bully. He has, to quote South Park, "made sweet love" to both sows, and everyone seems to be getting on well. The only drawback is how scared Pratchett is to be picked up.

He runs away, and he's a big guy, about three pounds (compared to the girls who each weigh about two pounds). He runs and smashes all those little poos, which made me have to switch to vacuuming them up instead of scooping. The piggies have learned to associate the loud machine with a clean cage, and get very excited when I use it, now.

LOVES being cuddled and petted, HATES being touched inside habitat.

As much as he fears being picked up, Pratchett LOVES being a lap pig, and will sit for hours being petted. We got him at thirteen months old, and while the girls have some months to grow, Pratchett is full-grown now. I love watching them interact, and I love taking them out for lap time.